Over the past decade, Chinese families have been undergoing subtle changes. In the past, people often said that ‘a daughter who marries is like water poured out’, believing that once a woman married, she belonged to her husband’s family; today, however, an increasing number of women maintain close ties with their parents even after marriage. Previously, the label of ‘leftover women’ was a source of anxiety for many; now, more and more people are beginning to question whether a woman’s life must necessarily follow the sequence of marriage and childbirth. Sociologist Ji Yingchun and psychologist Jian Lili believe that Chinese families are undergoing a ‘new family revolution’. This shift affects not only marriage, but also how women understand themselves, their mothers, and intimate relationships. In traditional society, a woman leaving her family of origin often signified a complete transition into another household. Whilst men could leave home through education, work or public office, women could primarily do so only through marriage. Consequently, in the past, many women’s ties with their parents would gradually weaken after marriage. But modern society has changed all that. With the spread of education and the rise in women’s economic independence, more and more women are leaving home at a young age to pursue their studies or careers. Their lives are no longer confined to a single path; instead, they have a wider range of choices. For many women, the psychological process of separating from their family of origin has become more complex and protracted than in the past. Lili mentioned that she left her parents’ home at the age of 15, but it was not until she was approaching 30 that she truly felt psychologically independent. However, after giving birth to her daughter, she re-established a closer bond with her parents. She discovered that family relationships are not simply a matter of ‘leaving’ or ‘returning’, but rather evolve continuously through different stages of life. In recent years, ‘only daughters from Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai’ have emerged as a group attracting significant attention. These women are typically born into urban families with relatively affluent economic circumstances, where parents have invested substantial resources in them. They have received a good education from a young age and have been encouraged to pursue professional success. Consequently, upon reaching adulthood, they are not only financially independent but are also in a position to support their parents in return. Ji Yingchun points out that this shift is, in fact, the result of the gradual decline of the traditional patriarchal family. In the past, elderly care relied primarily on sons, whilst daughters who were willing to look after their parents were often regarded as ‘going against the rules’. Nowadays, however, many daughters contribute more than their brothers in terms of financial support, day-to-day care and emotional companionship. Nevertheless, in some families, inheritance still tends to favour males. This suggests that modern notions of equality and traditional gender roles coexist. For many only daughters born in the 1980s, their upbringing was marked by a sense of having been ‘empowered’. Their families expected them to gain entry to top universities and secure good jobs, raising them in much the same way as boys. They believed that, provided they worked hard, they could realise their full potential. Yet upon entering society, they suddenly faced a different set of expectations: they were expected to marry and have children as soon as possible. This led many women to feel a profound sense of disillusionment. They realised that society’s standards for evaluating women had not truly broken free from traditional notions. The term ‘leftover women’ began to gain popularity around 2007, placing immense pressure on many professional women. For the first time, many women realised that whilst they were encouraged to pursue success in education and work, once they reached marriageable age, they were once again being pulled back into traditional gender roles. Ji Yingchun believes that today’s young women still yearn for intimate relationships, but what they hope for is a more equal partnership. It is not marriage itself that they fear, but unequal marriages. Examples include ‘widow-style parenting’, domestic violence, infidelity, and women bearing the entire burden of family responsibilities alone. Many women’s concerns about marriage are, in fact, linked to their mothers’ life experiences. From a young age, daughters observe how their mothers work and care for the family, whilst also witnessing their mothers’ exhaustion and sense of injustice within their marriages. Both panellists agreed that advancing gender equality requires a collective effort from society as a whole. In addition to institutional changes—such as reducing gender discrimination in the workplace—a shift in cultural attitudes is also necessary. Men should not be expected solely to ‘earn money and achieve success’, nor should women be automatically assumed to bear the full burden of caregiving responsibilities. Towards the end of the programme, the two guests spoke about their relationships with their mothers. Jian Lili said that although her mother had been constrained by the traditions of her time, she had nevertheless passed on many feminist ideas to her. She wished her mother had received more support in her youth, and hoped that her younger self could have maintained patience and conviction. Ji Yingchun recalled that her mother, though born in the countryside, had always worked hard at her studies and her job, remaining true to herself despite the limitations of the era. She believes that although her mother did not fully realise her ideals, she was nonetheless a truly remarkable person. As for what she would say to her younger self, she remarked: ‘On life’s journey, keep moving forward whilst reflecting; even amidst the torrent of the times, do not lose your own sense of direction.’ **If you had the chance to say one thing to your mother as she came of age, what would you say?**